Suicide is the single biggest killer of men in the UK under the age of 45. The ongoing crisis is particularly prevalent within the student community. The mental health foundation notes a 94% increase in demand for university counselling services from 2016-2017.

Though, this is just the tip of the iceberg. Statistics used in major studies and reported on in headline news exclude the students who do not speak up. The student’s who feel too embarrassed and ashamed to seek the help they deserve. Too often these students are men. This is why campaigns such as UJS’s Jews Breaking Taboos, which encourage men to talk about mental health, are vital in supporting students. 

Traditional ideas of masculinity that are prevalent in wider society and within the Jewish community, wrongfully shame men for speaking out on their mental health. I was consequently so incredibly impressed with the bravery and candour of the Jews Breaking Taboos participants. Their honest testimony helped shred stereotypes on masculinity, creating positive role models for other Jewish students on campus.  The campaign gave me cause to reflect on how women can be allies in this fight. Allies in ensuring men feel more comfortable talking about their mental health, creating spaces that foster honesty and make strides toward ending this crisis. After much reflection I believe that women can help in 3 specific ways: 

• Language – It is imperative we are all mindful of how we speak, that we do not use language that upholds and perpetrates harmful stereotypes.  Using phrases such as ‘Man up’ and ‘Be a man about it,’ in reference to conversations about emotions, serves to stigmatise male mental health as something of which to be ashamed. This stereotype stops men from opening up and reaching out for help on mental health issues. Removing these phrases from our vocabulary helps in creating a safer environment for men to talk about their mental health. 

• Listening- Encouraging men to talk about their mental health is crucial in destigmatising the topic. That is why, when a man wants to talk about their mental wellbeing, its fundamental we listen, place no pressure on them to perform their masculinity or hide their vulnerability in fear of being seen as ‘less manly.’ It is so important we take the concerns of our male friends seriously and offer support when necessary.    

• Learn- We need to learn from our previous mistakes and ensure that all spaces are safe spaces. UJS and J-Socs, more specifically, are placing a greater emphasis on student welfare. Motions passed at the recent UJS conference, which encourage J-Socs to have a person and resource guide that prioritise student wellbeing, are a response to the growing need for better mental health provisions.

 It is important we break the taboos that damage men’s mental health.